So I get back from my cruise and all I see is posts about the sinking of the Titanic. I was just on a huge boat, I don’t want to think about it sinking!

To my small population of followers:

• president snow:
  LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS
• peeta:
  TO BAKE SOME BUNS
• haymitch:
  DID THEY SEND ME TRIBUTES WHEN I ASKED FOR RUM?
• effie:
  you're the saddest bunch i ever met but you can bet, before we're through
• haymitch:
  THAT I'LL
• MAKE A VICTOR
• OUT OF YOOOUUUU
• effie, octavia, portia and flavius:
  stylish as the capitol-
• cinna:
  BUT ON FIRE WITHIN
• haymitch:
  once you earn your sponsors, you'll be SURE TO WIN
• effie:
  you are a spineless
• octavia and portia:
  PALE
• flavius:
  and pathetic lot
• haymitch:
  aND YOU HAVEN'T GOT A CLUEEEE
• SOMEHOW I'LL
• MAKE A VICTOR OUT OF YOOUUUU
• katniss:
  um

The BBC have outdone themselves with this year’s April Fools joke.